God said we should love our enemies. that if they sock you in the face, you should let them sock your other cheek. ... this is why i know im a sinner - i can't do that. if my enemy socks me in the face, i'll probably punch his throat.
I tend to classify people in my life. and i do this pretty much consciously. there are people that i love, and don't love. then, there are people that I like, and don't like. and finally, there are people that i respect, and don't respect. now, i won't use the word 'hate' here, because it's such a 'hateful' word. i guess if there's someone i don't love, like, or respect, that's pretty much the lowest class that I put him/her in in my life.
now i understand my previous paragraph kind of makes me seem like a pompous jerk face ass wipe. i mean, who am i to classify others? after all, isn't 'classify' just another way of saying 'judge'? i dont know. maybe. but i still wanna be honest. I blog to 'keep it real since 2005' (look at my blog title). and i guess thats just how i roll...
the trickiest thing about all this is that, people could fall into any combination of these 3 different sets of categories. for example, i could love and respect someone, but not really like him/her (may be the case for some people and their parents/siblings?). or i could like and respect someone but not love (maybe a professor or something?). or i could like someone but not respect or love (a friend who's a drug-addict, but really fun to hang out with. or something like that). you get the point. personally, i try to act and live in ways that put me in other people's 'respect' category. even if they don't love me or like me, if i know that i have their respect at least, then i'm good. i think i am able to live this way because i know i have people in my life who love, like, and respect me.
anyways, here's the point of my rambling: sometimes, you find yourself with 'friends' that you don't necessarily love, like, nor respect. "how the hell did someone like that become your friend in the first place?" you must be asking. the answer is... just spending time together. building comraderie through various events in life. SHARING experiences. just being there through the thick and the thin. it could be called attachment, or 'juhng' in korean. and guess what? if you recognize this and cherish it, respect naturally follows and transforms into a true friendship. you might not respect the person - you might even say you 'hate' the person - but you respect the experience and the memory.
if you don't have this two-way respect - at the very least - there is no friendship.
the question is, at what point do you say 'enough is enough. i can't be friends with people that I neither love, like, nor respect' and cross them off your friends list?
I tend to classify people in my life. and i do this pretty much consciously. there are people that i love, and don't love. then, there are people that I like, and don't like. and finally, there are people that i respect, and don't respect. now, i won't use the word 'hate' here, because it's such a 'hateful' word. i guess if there's someone i don't love, like, or respect, that's pretty much the lowest class that I put him/her in in my life.
now i understand my previous paragraph kind of makes me seem like a pompous jerk face ass wipe. i mean, who am i to classify others? after all, isn't 'classify' just another way of saying 'judge'? i dont know. maybe. but i still wanna be honest. I blog to 'keep it real since 2005' (look at my blog title). and i guess thats just how i roll...
the trickiest thing about all this is that, people could fall into any combination of these 3 different sets of categories. for example, i could love and respect someone, but not really like him/her (may be the case for some people and their parents/siblings?). or i could like and respect someone but not love (maybe a professor or something?). or i could like someone but not respect or love (a friend who's a drug-addict, but really fun to hang out with. or something like that). you get the point. personally, i try to act and live in ways that put me in other people's 'respect' category. even if they don't love me or like me, if i know that i have their respect at least, then i'm good. i think i am able to live this way because i know i have people in my life who love, like, and respect me.
anyways, here's the point of my rambling: sometimes, you find yourself with 'friends' that you don't necessarily love, like, nor respect. "how the hell did someone like that become your friend in the first place?" you must be asking. the answer is... just spending time together. building comraderie through various events in life. SHARING experiences. just being there through the thick and the thin. it could be called attachment, or 'juhng' in korean. and guess what? if you recognize this and cherish it, respect naturally follows and transforms into a true friendship. you might not respect the person - you might even say you 'hate' the person - but you respect the experience and the memory.
if you don't have this two-way respect - at the very least - there is no friendship.
the question is, at what point do you say 'enough is enough. i can't be friends with people that I neither love, like, nor respect' and cross them off your friends list?
1 Comments:
You mentioned it is possible to like and not respect, but is it possible to love AND like but not respect?.....because I think with love comes respect. Also, in my opinion, the answer to your question, you stop being friends when the cost/benefit ratio is negative....meaning that maintaining this particular friendship has a negative effect on you.
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